silence pray.

seriously, i don't feel like talking anymore. *grumpy* 

have you ever feel like being in a situation which could simply takes you to the death by drowning you just with a cup of water. i do, serious. hate and love are checking in concurrently. i couldn't think of any solutions to resolve it anymore, i could not make it, i  c-o-u-l-d  n-o-t. 

nobody would just stop for a while and see how am i working with it so hardly, n-o-b-o-d-y. i attempt to refill the broken part over again and again and again, yet, none of them works, none. to be frank, i'm not a mighty person who just pretend nothing happen and smile at everyone. no, the possibility of it will be zero. 

i try to be nice and it ended up feel like being a clown. let's just straight to the point ok. i won't waste so much time on a person whom i think is worthless, no, i won't seriously. i care, i furious, i weep, it's all because of i'm afraid of losing you,all of you, don't you understand?

why wanted to worsen the relationship/situation. doesn't it look awkward? it does, for me. why wanted to make me feel like i'm the butter between the bread. am i look strong enough to take all of these shits? i tried, i'm trying and i will be trying. so, please stop doing this to me, anymore. 

i love, all of you. so, please giving me pressure or anything which could cause me barely to breathe. i need to breathe in order to survive, god, amen.