xxx.

dear xxx,

how do you define family? well, i'm sure everyone would have defined it as a love which couldn't be replaced, unlike the love from boyfriend, or the love from friends. but the issue is, i don't really know your definition of family, indeed. you know that we're always there for you when you need us, you knew that. but there is a doubt pop out in my mind that, you seem like, using the love instead of appreciating the love.

to be frank, you really pissed me off when you left shits behind for us to handle, perhaps, you might take this as an objection. but listen, it's okay for us to sort things out for you, but we have to solve the issues as a family, not just think about you.

telling lies doesn't show you're good in using your brain, it shows how cruel you are. sorry to say that. but i'm enough with your lies, i think, you never felt guilty about this ? no ? i don't know. i, could, barely, know, who, are, you, anymore. you would have dragged others into your shits and keep thinking of making up a lie to cover another lie, i'm fatigue, don't you?

we know, we, totally, knew about these, xxx. just, we're trying to make you walk down from the stage without embarrassing you. don't you just get it? telling me what do you want to be in the future, telling me you're going to work so to give her a better life, will not determine who you're going to be in the future.
just, stop, telling, lies, can ? you're digging a hole on our heart, a deep deep hole.

xxx, i love you, just that i'm not same as others, i'm using the different way to show my love and maybe it's the reason you couldn't feel the love from me, my bad, and my apology. just pause for a while, and recall, the scars you left on us are gone, yet, the wounds will still be there forever on our heart. trust doesn't build within 1-2days or 1-2weeks, it takes for almost indefinite period of time. once you broke it, it takes another indefinite period of time, or perhaps, i'll start to build the wall against you.

xxx, i really, do hope that, you could just be more observant. you need love, and so do us. we need your love as well, don't just run to us when you're in a trouble or just abandon us when you're having joy out there. no, it's not the way we wanted, not at all. still remember how we used to play in the rain cause' we're trying to fall sick so that we could skip the class when we're still small? still remember how we used to pee at the staircases when we're still kid? still remember how we used to active in participating drawing competition and won lots of prizes? still remember how we used to sing inside the car when we're still young and made her laughed? might end this with,

The family.  We were a strange little band of characters trudging through life sharing diseases and toothpaste, coveting one another's desserts, hiding shampoo, borrowing money, locking each other out of our rooms, inflicting pain and kissing to heal it in the same instant, loving, laughing, defending, and trying to figure out the common thread that bound us all together.