days without him, i change.

it has been exactly two weeks that he wasn't beside me, like having meals together, fondling my forehead when i'm about to sleep every night, and etc. without him, the atmosphere around me turned to be so tranquil out of the sudden, it supposed to be a good thing, yet, it's more of like, part of me is missing you see D:

no calls and no texts for the two weeks, at all. okay fine, i'm trying to exaggerate it :p i only got his phone calls when he had something important to talk about or whatsoever, okay, you must be having this question like, WHY COULDN'T YOU MAKE THE CALL RIGHT. it's not that i can't, it's just that i don't want to, as i pretty dislike the way he shows me his cold shoulder, sometimes.

well, i eventually found out that it wasn't a bad thing for me honestly, cause' i secretly felt that, it's the love i wanted. hmm, i don't name it as puppy love, would you? technically i define puppy love as the love/relationship that there will be lots of msgs, calls, or skype, or facebook, or even msn involved in their life in order to show their loves, like EVERYDAY? okay look, i ain't saying long distance relationship here k.

what i'm trying to say is, don't you feel annoying or awful when you kinda like, have to reply the msgs from the morning till the moment you close your eyes and enjoy your slumberland? more to the point, don't you feel disgusting when you're being scolded on the phone in front of your family just because of you left your cellphone inside your bedroom and couldn't reply his/her msgs? for god's sake -.- get a life.

besides, i used to be a mean girl, i mean, girlfriend. i never treated them (my ex-es) like they're going to leave me. i was so confident that i would be together with them as long as i wanted to. i, even betrayed them. ridiculous, naive, i know. that was me though -.- i had been single for two years after i broke up with the previous ones. you couldn't imagine how wild i was or perhaps how raving i was at that time. yes, i clubbed, i pub-ed, i was a drunkard, kissed with the people that i could barely know(eww, right?), and etc. ahem, i don't weep for what i had done, yet, i laugh about it and grin at those stupid things that i had done, cause' as far as i seen, i have grown up :) (well, perhaps i might seen as a bitch for some of you)

To love at all is to be vulnerable. Love anything and your heart will be wrung and possibly broken. If you want to make sure of keeping it intact you must give it to no one, not even an animal. Wrap it carefully round with hobbies and little luxuries; avoid all entanglements. Lock it up safe in the casket or coffin of your selfishness. But in that casket, safe, dark, motionless, airless, it will change. It will not be broken; it will become unbreakable, impenetrable, irredeemable. To love is to be vulnerable.

C. S. Lewis

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and he came back, last night! :D nothing changes, except his tummy D: like a balloonnnnnnnn. met him in 2010, and it's 2012 now. fast right. photos summarize the rest k.

2010

2011

2012