it's a simple love.

i'm actually very fatigue at this time, yet i have the flow of writing out of the sudden. so just take it.

i have been living in this world for 21 years and yes, i'm turning 21yrs old soon, it's not like very soon -.- the feeling that i'm actually having now starts from the word - love.

went out with my mother to get some groceries today and bumped into my little sister and her bf abruptly. so the thought of mine started here. i have been living with my mother for almost 21 years. in contrast, it has been only approximately 2 years that i have been living with my bf.

 if you would have asked me those questions such as, who would you save first if you're given the only chance when your mother and your loved ones are drowning in the sea at the same time? my answer would always be the same - save the both of them, until today, it changed. i think, if it's going to be the only chance that i have gotten, i would only save the one who has been living with me since i was born.

i used to try to balance the love between both of them. yet, it started to wobble and move slightly towards the one whom i have been living with for 21 years. there is no reason that could even explain this. it is just a feeling, a natural feeling.

it's very normal for a couple to go through the stages of making friend, becoming lover, drowning in a deep love relationship and ended up in saying goodbye to each other and perhaps, one of them would probably be a moron and commit suicidal or whatsoever. these are just the stages of learning to love and be loved.

the one whom i have been living for 21 years would not leave me behind and seek for another interesting thing, instead, she protects me like a baby, until now. she's willing to do everything for me even she's sick or whatsoever. compared to those bf/gf outside, it's totally a gigantic difference. who on earth would tolerate you with the poo poo when you're a baby, who on earth would take care of your meals when you're starving, who on earth would staying by your side when you're in a deep shit.

people, don't just ignore the feeling of the one whom you have been living with since you're born. it's totally understandable that you're in love, cause i'm in love too, yet, i chose to be realistic as i think, my lover would or will leave me someday in the future, unlike the one whom i have been living with for 21 years.

dear mother, love you, always.