Thursday, December 27, 2012

thinking too much.


i thought it's supposed to be, you know, easy.
seems like i was wrong, totally wrong.
i thought i could get over it.
wake up and forget about, everything, everything including how tough the life is.
i don't want to be, you know, incapable.
perching at the edge of the sofa, thinking too much.
the tears started to coarsened down the cheeks of mine.
and told myself that, i can get over it, cause' you know,
it's all inside my knack.
amen.


Sunday, December 23, 2012

3 years of slumberland

first year
i kept imagining what my life would be in kl before i got there. i imagined that, it might be exciting, fascinating or perhaps, dull. sounds corny eh? i couldn't fall asleep the night before i caught the plane to get there cause' my mind kept exercising, apparently.

so my first year in sunway was 2010. i supposed, at that particular jiffy, a good year maybe? so it was neither a good nor a bad year for me cause' i met him during that year. the man whom i'm still curling with. there are many of my friends wonder how did we even hook on each other.

technically, our relationship started on 4th of april in the early in the morning. it wasn't him whom chased after me, but it doesn't mean that i was the one who eagerly approached him. okay, so i'm gonna spit it out, now. at that night, i pressed my lips against his softly cause' it ain't the first time i felt so strong that i wanted to make him as mine.

then, we started to curl each other on the bed and cuddling for the whole night. at that moment, i was so overwhelmed with love and wished to nuzzling on the bed, like forever. sounds weird aite i know. lolll. so i started to spend almost most of my time with him as if we were a pen with ink.

there was, nevertheless, rumors about us after our statuses changed. ain't going to narrate in detail about this part. love makes everyone blind, people say. so i supposed it isn't necessary to put the blame on any parties just to make yourself feel good or comfortable. it's just wrong you know. i, hence, told myself to ignore those rumors and keep on holding it, insistently.

during the year, i kept on blogging about the things that we had done together and declared to the world that i was actually having a whale of time with this man. sounds like a bragger, indeed. pfftttt. just for your information, the previous relationships of mine never really lasted for more than 4months. so i supposed this would be the same. but it certainly proved me wrong.

we never really went out and had a good date to be frank. but i didn't groan, at all. well you know, it was because of the so-called honeymoon period. ahahahahha.

nothing really surprised or shocked me during the year. it was just an ordinary year. that's it.





second year
i found myself over concentrated on studies and i, therefore decided to entertain myself with activities like joining volleyball club. other than the reason stated above, it served as the purpose of beautifying my resume too :) tsk, too realistic huh?

i met some new friends through the club. it was fun, indeed. represented sunway college university to participate in MAPCU and got 2nd runner up. *teehee proud* cause' we only trained as a team for like, less than one month. *okay la, stop bragging* lollll




second year, surprised me with a call from the man that he was admitted to hospital due to dengue fever. my eyes nearly popped out from its sockets as i never really thought of anyone surrounding me would face this, especially those that i love/care.

i wasn't at sunway the moment the man was admitted, i was in penang instead. i couldn't really like, buy an air ticket and get my ass back there without any consideration like those rich people out there, i just, could not do that. so he stayed at the hospital for exactly a week. he was so skinny the moment he got out of the medical centre. without a doubt, the man kept complaining that i didn't take any effort to take care of him when he was admitted. blah blah blah. pfftttt.

so there was only a little wavy motion during the second year, nothing much, again.

third year
oh dear, i love this year, so much. it was the most challenging, exciting, full of unforgettable memories and also, the toughest year for me, to the maximum. i failed one of the papers and it dispirited me, so much that i couldn't really take a break to let myself to take a deeppppppp breathe. sigh. i, however, managed to perform well. like passed my oxford brookes university degree assignment *so, frankly speaking, i'm a degree holder, already :D* coupled with passing my professional papers at one shot :)

at the same time, i met some new friends who lighten up part of my life, as well. as i mentioned earlier, i joined volleyball club in the 2nd year, yet, people come and go. so it didn't surprise me when there were some new faces when i went to training as usual. we managed to shorten the distance amongst us as the time passed by. so in the 3rd year, i met yx, whom i used to call bella :D  such a lovely but at the same time a naughty girl as well. there are other girls that are cute as well just that kinda lazy to list them all out. :-P






on top of that, i also got myself involved in the dodgeball club. ohh, let me rephrase it. i only joined for a short period of time, very short. hahahahahah. so i met the grandpa, bilal through the dodgeball competition. i suppose he is a funny, talkative but can be quite serious at the same time as well. nahhh. don't like to talk to him when he's mad. ahahahahahhahahahahah. met moonlum and joel as well ;-)





lets just jump back to my relationship, for now. we are kinda at the comfortable zone, but not too comfort. disagreements everyday. pfftttt. but i'm glad that we ain't at the tolerance stage, so far. he still gave me surprise. like a big surprise on my 21 bday. such a lovely man, indeed. i wept throughout the surprise cause' it was kinda like the first surprise that he threw? :-P well, surprise makes us go further, i think.

we, had different direction at the first place. however, everything changed. it's all because of the job that we're heading to. the job, that get us closer, much closer.


also, i'm glad to have a group of friends who treat me so well, who take good care of me when we're at the downhill stage. such a group of true friends, no lies, no fakes, they simply show me the real hearts of theirs. lovely, so lovely :)






right now, i feel like, i'm slacking too much. wake up at 9am everyday, do all of the house chores, go to the bed at 12am. pfftttt. damn fatigue. but i feel like, it's more of like, lifeless eh? hmmmmm.

whatever. anyway, christmas is coming, soon. hope you all have a good ones. merry xmas. xoxo.