love.

i'm, seriously, not ready for this, and you just took her away.

she was the one who raised us up when my mother was not around. she was the one who taken care after us when we're kinda like abandoned by others. she was the one who truly sacrificed everything just for her family.

dear grandma,

hello, grandma. i seriously hope that you're doing well up there. i have to admit that i'm not a good grandchild for you. we only met up like once a year, especially during chinese new year. i'm thinking, what's the point of us to go back home since you're not around anymore? :(

grandma, do you still remember you used to make us those traditional pastries? i have to tell you that, they are the best in the world, like you're born to be a pastry chef. ah, i still remember that, all of us used to make dumplings made of glutinous rice flour served in soup together, and played with it.

grandma, do you still remember that you kept asking us to eat even though we had just eaten? like worried about that we'll starve to death. and, i do remember that we used to get the chance to have a table of delicious foods whenever there was a special date. and those foods made us ate like tigers just out of cages.

grandma, do you still remember that you used to get up earlier just to buy us breakfast? i used to be happy the moment i heard the sound coming from your motorbike, always.

grandma, do you still remember that i love to call you 'grandma' at the gate before i stepped into the house when i visited you? and you would have stood up and waved at me and gave me your radiant smile, the prettiest smile, ever.

grandma, there are lots of words for me to say, just that the space here isn't enough for me to fill up my loves for you. grandma, you used to tell us jokes and stories, you used to work so hard just to make sure that everyone is, at least, not suffering from hunger.

grandma, you're the best grandma in this world, forever. i never gotten the chance to say this in front of you,
dear grandma, i love you, forever.

rest in peace.

give your heart a break.

i might not be the best for you, i might not as lovely as you wanted me to be, i might not as sexy as other hot chicks out there, i might not as romantic as other girls out there, however, i, always, believe, that, i, deserve, more, than, thatttttt.

i don't care how worst the feeling would be, but, i think, i'm getting used to it. acting like a princess, no more. cause' i'm not a princess for him, from the beginning of our stories. i'm not sure whether am i asking too much, but, there is a little thought, always- 'no, you're not asking too much.'

learnt to be a poker face since the real world came into our chapters. cause' it isn't a big deal, at all. it's more of like, just lost one of the garments of mine, that's it.

sometimes, you'll realize, your partner might not be the right person to talk to, your siblings instead. so here's my little note for ...

dear sucy,

      sometimes, you're seriously naughty, like an evil came out of nowhere -.- yet, bluffing with you is kind of relaxing. i do know that, you'll feel depress too, it's ok, i'm always here :) always. xoxo

movies which give you heart attack.

i have to warn you before i continue to exercise my fingers here. this post will be, hmmm, slightly, disgusting D:  so, just quit if you couldn't stand :) 

i, personally think that i'm pretty unique compared to others, ok ok, everyone is unique, i know that, or perhaps, weirdo is more suitable to replace the word. i, seriously, obsess with watching movie like, 

THE WRONG TURN 

THE SAW

THE FINAL DESTINATION 

THE HILL HAVE EYES

THE SILENT HILL 

ok ok, enoughhh, my boy is stopping me from posting those disgusting movie trailer. have fun :D

advert.

almost the same.

i went to watch nasi lemak 2.0 with my boy. and guess what? the cinema hall suddenly blackout at the middle of the show. and my boy thought it's the movie effect, i was like -.-  and it really shows what the movie is trying to tell *ahem* 

well, i have been gone through lots of things in these few days and it made me so, hmmm, fuck up. i always, feel thankful for what i've gotten and only looking for something new if i'm afford to do so. dear, please be satisfied for what you're having now, it might not be the best, at least, you're better than anyone else, at somewhere of the corner. 

weather reporttttt

the weather is so damn colddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddd :-/////////

short update.

hello, hello, helloooo :) just finished my progress tests and it gave me such a big relieve. ohhh, i'm getting used to the new environment here and would not want to look for another place to camp at anymore unless there is something occurs? and and, get to know a new friend who is my new housemate as well, named yvonne. such a friendly girl :)

sometimes, you would have thought of why you're doing this, why you're here, why you should do it and blah blah blah when you're doing nothing but staring at the ceiling. i always do, always. i always don't understand why couldn't i get a better one? hmmmmm *thinking*

now, i think, i have lost my faith in believing me will get through my studies. just don't know why. shall i stop or keep moving? please answer me, dear god.

tonight i wanna cry

dear mother, 


    you can fight against it, don't give up. we'll always there for you. xoxo. 

sour grape, i think.

sometimes, i, secretly, miss the one who washed the dishes with me at a place so-called, MX. the opportunity slipped through us, obviously. have to, keep, moving on. cause' i'm driving at 200km/hr now *()&^@@##(

sentimental

i'm not a romantic girl, yet, i do like romance. have argument once in a blue moon might, perhaps, considered as a sweetener in the relationship, too much might cause a disaster D:

dear love,

         though you might not be the best, at least, you could do it better. ain't stopping you from meeting up friends, ain't trying to stop you from doing anything you love, cause' i won't. there is a little selfish thought, just wanted you to stop from walking too fast, cause' it seems like, you're leaving me behind. xoxo.

without a title.

i'm not happy.
i'm not happy.
i'm not happy.