i fell, again. was trying to look for someone to actually calm me down. when i tried to turn around, nobody's there, nobody. been asking myself to curl my lips as everything will be okay, soon. im actually tired of everything, everything - life.
till then, i only realised that, everyone would prefer to spend his/her time with their bf/gf instead of family/friend. fuck this theory. im gonna head to bed and suck it up.
goodnight.
i am praying for a better day for almost every nights, the nights before i snug into the warm blanket of mine. i actually think that im good enough in handling everything, everything as in...everything? guess that im wrong for this time, so so wrong.
i used to be a badass back to those days and im not gonna deny it thou. i didnt know since when that i've changed. just didnt know, at all. the little ones in the house have been telling me how tough i am when compared to her. the eldest ones have been telling me how mature i've becoming.
i used to throw my temper out on everyone when i was in anger. now, no more. i would swallow it up, all of them. thats the reason for me in becoming tougher and mature. but they somehow, tend to forget that im not the woman of steel, not at all.
i hate you
i apologize for what i've done back to those days and if telling me that you hate me would make you feel better, i deserve it then.
saying sorry doesnt mean you would be forgiven
i have been helping/be there for you whenever you needed me and i never missed, not even once. just one mistake and you pushed me to the corner and let the remorse swallowing me up. thats hurt, indeed.
i dont love you anymore
telling me being friend with me is the only best solution for both of us. been trying to ignore/let go of you. but why coming back just for your own advantages? you knew that i would do everything for you without saying no. why.
those words, like a knife, cut me deep in the heart of mine.
