just like this.

smile like an angel even though you're glum or down, cause' someday, you would find out that there is someone who actually fallen in love with your smile, your radiant smile. 

her 19th.

happy birthday my baby girl. xoxo

the missing ones.

it's supposed to be 4 people inside, it is supposed to be. my heart sank whenever the images of hers playing in my mind. she might seem naive sometimes, she might seem doesn't know how to please others by polishing their shoes, she might seem not to be calculative with others, she might seem engulfing all of the sorrows found deep inside her heart. 

she, takes good care of me since i was born. she doesn't act like a bossy though she's on top of me, instead, i'm the one who keen on acting bossy in front of them. to be frank, i'm just way too bossy. 

it's my little sister's birthday after 3hours from now on. tick-tock. again, she's missing. it would be nice if she could step into an aeroplane and catch up with us. too bad, never get the chance, never. 

my mood swung so badly in these few days, it's more of like getting myself suffocating, depressing. could be gone crazy anytime, anytime. she might not be the right person to keep secret, yet she's a good listener. i realized, i would not run to anyone but her when i found i'm in a deep shit and could be going to hell anytime. 

' jie, i, seriously, need, you, now.'

silence pray.

seriously, i don't feel like talking anymore. *grumpy* 

have you ever feel like being in a situation which could simply takes you to the death by drowning you just with a cup of water. i do, serious. hate and love are checking in concurrently. i couldn't think of any solutions to resolve it anymore, i could not make it, i  c-o-u-l-d  n-o-t. 

nobody would just stop for a while and see how am i working with it so hardly, n-o-b-o-d-y. i attempt to refill the broken part over again and again and again, yet, none of them works, none. to be frank, i'm not a mighty person who just pretend nothing happen and smile at everyone. no, the possibility of it will be zero. 

i try to be nice and it ended up feel like being a clown. let's just straight to the point ok. i won't waste so much time on a person whom i think is worthless, no, i won't seriously. i care, i furious, i weep, it's all because of i'm afraid of losing you,all of you, don't you understand?

why wanted to worsen the relationship/situation. doesn't it look awkward? it does, for me. why wanted to make me feel like i'm the butter between the bread. am i look strong enough to take all of these shits? i tried, i'm trying and i will be trying. so, please stop doing this to me, anymore. 

i love, all of you. so, please giving me pressure or anything which could cause me barely to breathe. i need to breathe in order to survive, god, amen. 

opppsssss.

trying to be a heroine. blahhhh. just laugh as much as you want to if you're viewing this. i'm not denying that i'm a narcissist. so, hmmm, ya. it's normal for every girls to camwhore. so i'm not the exception apparently.

to be frank, my boy doesn't like me to self-capture at all. he's like, ' ewwwwwwww, stop it. ' then i was like, ' whatever -.- ' 

so cute.

few days ago, our conversation.

my boy : ' will it sound lovely for you to call you babi? '
me : ' absolutely no. ' 
my boy : ' i seeeeeee, hmmmmm. '


few mins ago, our conversation.


my boy : ' babiiiiiiii. is that sound lovely for you? '
me : ' NO. '

i realized, there was something wrong with him. it didn't take me long to recall that i did post ' babi ' on my friend's wall. and i giggled, giggled so loud. it's like, AHAHAHHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHH. cause i didn't know that he actually read my fb wall or my bloggg. i do know that, you're cute all the times <3

don't even think about that.

when was the last time that i really laughed or smiled from the bottom of my heart. why am i so afraid. afraid of losing you. girl, don't touch my boy. back off.

oi.

tsk tsk tsk tsk. no wonder most of my friends said that i'm a vampireeeeee because of the fang that i have. plus the dark circles of mine are getting serious, nehh, dead. been considering to have braces and yet there are lots of objections from my family, especially the side from my dad. 

skipped volleyball training today. felt bad about it. blahhhhhhhh. it's going to be a tough week next week, cause' mock exam is knocking my door so hardly. byeee.

why don't i just burn under the sunnnnnnn.

AHAHAHAHHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAH.

obsession.

to be frank, i'm actually keen on self-capturing an emo photo of mine. too obsess with myself eh? perhaps. AHHAHAHAHAHAHAHAAHAHAHAH.

monkey.

couldn't stop smiling at this picture, like seriously. he's cute, isn't he? captured this ages ago. 

oh please.

it's so funny to see that you are good in giving comments for how people doing out there and yet you're actually pointing at yourself the moment you commented. wonder what's swimming in your mind when you're actually cocky enough to judge how people doing. yes, you, you, you.

feel insulting? cause' you're exactly fit into it.

holding on.

it's so weird to hear the relationship of others just like a switch, being on and off and on and off. yep, on and off and on and off and on and off. and they would have counted their days being together accumulatively. it's like, ' oh babe, it's our anniversary again.' and then the others would have the common thought : ' i thought both of you were broken up before. does it count? '  nehhhhhhh.

i ain't saying that the relationship i'm having with my boy is strong enough to resist any issues, so don't get me wrong. we, do argue everyday, ok. just that we respect each other, always. and we do not simply verbalize the so-called common word for others - break up - no, never. well, i don't know what others would have thought about us, yet, we're pretty serious about it at our age. not the puppy love that others would have linked to.

i'm holding on, holding tight. there is, still a long long way to gooooo. love your loved ones. 

before off to bed, here's a soundtrack that i would like to share ;)

 

don't get me wrong.

referring to the previous post, it wasn't my boy who just simply threw the sperm at the balcony mr.wong min fungggg.
AHAHHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHHAHA.

let me make myself crystal clear, i did not know who threw it, perhaps, it might be the person who living just one floor up from us, maybeeee. it's an assumption, not a conclusionnn.

summary.

attempting to change the bangs of mine back to the way how i set before cause it's way too annoying.

there was something gross transpired on me yesterday. the story started with i saw some tissues which all wrapped together on the floor of the balcony when i wanted to wash my hand at the kitchen. at first, i thought it was my boy who didn't throw it into the dustbin properly. hence, i went and picked it up.

denggggggggg. the moment i picked it up, i smelled something strange. it was an abnormal smell for me, it's more of like the smell of rotten egg ? i yelled at my boy and asked him what was that smell. after 3 secs, he told me that it's sperm. yes, it's spermmmm. i was like, wtf. seriously, wtf. blahhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh.

today, again, disappointment stroke me. i thought i would have gotten the free tickets for The Roommate from nuffnang. yet, i did not receive any invitation. so, i think, i am way too naive that i thought it's easy to get it. dreammm onnnn.

studies, pressure, stress, mock exam all are pressing the bell of my door. so, yep, stop here. night night.

be thankful.

to be frank, i learnt something - it ain't a bad thing to listen for other's opinion or advice, especially those juniors. 

i'm going to tell you from the bottom of my heart, 

round round face, thank you :) 

we shan't put the blame on people, or complain about what others have done for us, be thankful instead. we do know that, human beings feel regret for something they have uttered. but do take it in the mind that, some of them, won't.

the rate that people will give for your appearance will be very low despite the fact that you're good in looking or hot, the reason is simple, cause you show them a cocky face of yours. nasty, isn't it ? blahhhhh. 

click click click :)

it's about love.

oh the calender reminds me that it's already 4th of April. and it has been a year being together with this man. 

nobody says it's lovely or romantic to be fallen in love with someone. it needs courage and patience to build this up. i'm saying this cause' i knew that, it isn't an easy job for me, or perhaps, for every single girls, to keep the relationship as affectionate as it is supposed to be. 

i ain't saying that we made it, i'm trying to make it, instead. it's common for every girls to weep for their mans for any reasons or maybe, without a reason. yes, i do weep, sometimes, cause' of this man. yes, we do argue, sometimes, cause' of a little tiny thing. couldn't see it is an obstacle, instead, learning process. 

now, i'm not shy to tell you that, or perhaps, it's the first time to publicize,  

i love you, so much, my man. 

he-yaaaa

i really need to have a heavy meal, something like fries, steak, fish and chips or chinese foods, except porridgeeee. already sick for few days and yet it's not recovering.