hoping this is the end.

its raining day, again. and it reminds me of the night, that crazy night i ever had. i swear im not gonna take any alcohols anymore, not even a sip. blahhhhh

woke up the next day and received a text from him. it didnt take me long to press the delete button cause' the moment i saw his picture, i could barely breathe, at all. the harder i try, the faster the pain is eating me up. i tried, and im still trying.

why bother sending me text? why bother giving me a call when you dont even care? why. i guess i need another years to get over you, i guess. it took me so hard to hold my tears in front of your mother. and im glad that you weren't there.

when it is meant to be the end, just let it be, then.

Happy Winter Solstice Everyone

Hello everyone. as the title mentioned, yep,

HAPPY WINTER SOLSTICE EVERYONE ;)

i am so glad that i get to celebrate this special day of the year with my family. i mean, not everyone of you would have the chance due to studies, careers and etc. hence, here's my warm wishes to all of you ♥

jie, sorry for not being there with you but im sure that you knew we all missing you as much as you miss us. love you to the moon and back muahhhh ♥

I love you

so, yep, i love you.

i was sleeping so tight, so tight that i was actually having a dream. then, there was a knock on the door and it was slowly opened. the wood cracked the moment the person stepped into my room.

then i could feel that the person was crawling on my bed and hugged me from behind. the warmth, i love it.

then, the person whispered,

'jie, sleep tight and goodnight you are gonna be okay ♥'

and i knew that you are gonna scream at me for posting this picture of you hehhehehehheheee :p

Cause' i am.

i've been telling myself that he would be just another stranger whom i used to be with so closely. and i just decided to move on. everyone, including him thinks that its easy to letting go or even moving on. even me, myself think that, its not gonna be difficult. crap, who says its easy again?

i've been wanting to get an offer from any big firms so that i would be qualified as a professional. and i got it and i actually think that i would leap in happiness. but crap, i'm not happy, at all. why.

i've been asking myself to give the day a smile whenever my foot landed on the wood the moment i dragged myself up from the bed. and i actually doing it and managed to convince myself that its actually working. crap, but i forgot to ask myself to give the night a warm embrace before off to bed.

after all, i'm just a liar to myself,
cause' i am

Undelivered.

i wanted to share with you so much when i first got this on my hand. but i knew that, its time to wake up.

its been almost 6 months, 6 months. i thought im getting over it, but i guess i'm wrong. your stupid face still flashing up like a slide show keep playing itself in my mind, and i dont like it, at all. you used to be the one whom i would seek for whenever i have got a good news or a bad ones. now, no more.

you know its very tiring to have the same nightmare for almost every nights. i, literally waking up with anxiety. i've been telling myself to hang in there, those days, those memories would fade away, slowly.

the time i stopped writing about you, its the time that i've stopped missing you.

Good night.