silence is a girl's loudest cry. you can always tell she's really hurt when she starts ignoring you. 

i don't think that you will understand  _ l _

couldn't stand longer.

i'm so tired recently. give me a break pleaseeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee

heeeeeeeeeeeee

i want this shirttttttttttttt. someone please get this for meeeeeeeeeeeeee 

be colorful.

i believe that there are only a few of my friends would have known that i'm actually good in art, especially in coloring, but slightly poor in drawing. i could only draw well with color pencils and crayons but not with pencils. i knew, it's weird, very. lots of masterpieces of mine could be found at my bedroom and of course, rewards were included :)

i remember that, when we were young, both of my sisters and i always went for drawing contests held at centre point and we always won. there was one time, they won but i didn't. it's so funny to think of the past. i didn't cry, instead, i was mad at both of my sisters and i forced them to share the prizes with me. nasty, i know.

although there was a time, my chapters were colored with those dark colors, still, i found my life colorful. cause' i'm glad that in fact, that my family members are taking the job to be a blank drawing paper whereas my friends are in the position of being the paints and of course, my partner will be the brush. without my family, there isn't going to be a chapter in my life, without my friends, my life will be so dull, without my loved ones, the chapters of my life aren't going to be perfect. so it's linked, related.

such combination makes my life perfect and sparkling. cause there is an amazing and glaring light appears in the lens of mine - rainbow.

too much.

there will not be an end for everything that you're doing in your life, never. it will only keep chasing after you and waving its hand in front of you, you would have thought of giving up cause it's not an easy job for you. it makes you could not breathe,at all. 

sometimes, i would have thought of, 'ok, i'm done with this' and yet, i couldn't make it. the moment i wanted to verbalize, the patience of mine stops me. cause' i knew that, i could not afford to bear the consequences. 

it's not like i'm complaining for nothing just like a little princess, it's more of like, i'm too lethargic to do things all by myself, and yet others are not even helpful at all. sort of like, i built the house all by myself and you're moving in just as easy as like that. 

i knew that ranting isn't going to solve the problem, at least, it made me feel better, better and better. without a doubt, the matureness of mine finally stroke me at the jiffy that i chose not to utter, 'ok, i'm done with this.'

going on, still.

5 of us, have been maintaining this relationship for years even with the different personalities and different attitudes and yet, we maintain it very well.

i started to know the 2 guys (in the picture above) because of my elder sister. in fact, they are twin brothers. allow me to raise a question. do they look alike? to be frank, i personally think that, they don't ;]
it's going to be a long story if i would have typed out the details of it so i'm going to take a shortcut.

well, my elder sister and one of them were actually a couple, i mean, few years ago. though i didn't even know the exact reason of it, i was surprised by their efforts to keep thing remains on track. they aren't like others, 'darling, i miss you, i love you' ---- 'i think, we should take a break' ---- 'broke up' ---- 'no messages from each other anymore', they still press on the green button and talk to each other when they're free or perhaps, hit the comment button on the wall of facebook of each other. from this, i learnt the matureness.




let's put the spot light on the another brother. there is only one word to describe him - monkey face. AHHAHAHAHAHAHAHHAHHA. means, he's funny. the every movements of his, every responses of his, and the way he laughs, completely like a monkey is waving with a banana leaf and shaking its body all the times. ohhhh, he keen on camwhore as well, like seriously. proof? nah.



do you feel like slapping him? i do. HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA.

they have already came into the circle of our family and be a part of it. in reality, there is only a minor possibility that you will meet such great people in your life who really treat you with their naked heart, and i'm glad that i met them.

the relationship of ours are going on, getting closer even the distance among us are getting further.

let this picture to make your day. 

AHAHAHAHAHAHAAHAH

ma' friends

i'm pretty tired recently. it's not the physically fatigue but it's more of like mentally. having serious headache in these few days. i'm glad that i have a private nurse to take care of me when i'm not feeling well, and of course, it's free.

out of the sudden, some of the images are keep playing and playing in my mind. the familiar faces caught me. ahhh, they are all of my friends, true friends. i, seriously, miss them lots. some of them took good care of me when we were still young. some of them had been giving lots of advices to me to lead me to the right path. and of course, some of them, left a 'tattoo' on me cause' they could not be forgotten, could not be negated.

today, i was pretty bored during the class in the morning. so, i just simply logged into my fb and read those updated statuses by friends. at that moment, i found out that, i am, completely out of the circle of socialize. without a doubt, it's fun, no, it should be happy, it's ecstatic to keep in touch with friends and share some dirty little secrets together. and yet, i'm lost, totally.

people will just step into your life and walk away easily, including friends? or perhaps, they will forget about your name or even forget about who you are after some years. and both of you will just passing by like strangers.

oh my friends, if you're reading this, i really wanted to tell you all that,

I MISS YOU, ALL OF YOU.

give us the craziest name.

i went to have my dinner at carl's junior with my little sister and my boy yesterday. ya, carl's junior, again. going to put on weight, again. we sort of like had a little discussion, it's more of like towards argument. 

me : i ,personally think that people whose birthday falls on June have an attitude that people couldn't stand sometimes.  (obviously i'm referring to my boy, so no offence to others whose birthday falls on June as well)

my little sister : yes, i agreed with you. damn right. 

he : i, personally think that people whose birthday falls on May are stubborn to the maximum. 

me : oh, and i, personally think that people whose birthday falls on June have the habits of turning back the gun and pull the trigger and shoot the person who actually wanted to shoot at the first mentioned person at the first place. don't you think so?

he : you're the one who like to shoot people first. that's why they protect themselves. 

my little sister : would you guys stop ?

me : i'm not going to continue this topic. 

he : how i wish your birthday come after mine but not earlier than mine.

me : why?

he : so that i can know how do you treat me on my birthday then i will use the same way as you treated me. 

me : -.- so you still could not get off the matter out of your mind huh? 

he : nobody treats their loves in that way on their birthday. 

me : i, personally think that people whose birthday falls on June are pretty bear grudge. 

we went to jusco right after our dinner. and guess what, please take a look for the pictures i captured after we got home. 

yes, i do know that we're pretty crazy. we have bought 10 boxes of coco crunch cause there are free gifts to get- the 10 boxes of small duo coco crunch. we are like, tomorrow is going to be the end of the world, and we need the coco crunch to keep us alive. -.- 

ahhhh, forget about it. sometimes, it's good to do some crazy stuffs in our life :) nobody knows that the greatest happinesses are from doing the craziest stuffs in your life. 

random.

oh my baby susan, i love you. no worries, you're not alone. cause i always will be there for you no matter what. xoxo

my mood swung so badly recently. cried for this sec and laughed for the next sec. so i don't know whether am i okay right now. 

true love.

well, i call this as - true love. i will not even exist without them. probably will not even typing on this page right now. i always feel glad that i'm a part of them, always. though there might be some evil thoughts pop out whenever there is an argument, yet one apology will do.

to be frank, i started to appreciate their loves when i turned into 18yrs old. people say, ' it will never be too late '
i still consider myself as my mom's baby cause i knew, i am not independent enough, very. i have already get used to ask my mom to clean my shit after i have got myself into a trouble. slowly, i learnt from mistakes and yet, i still behave like a child in front of her. she knew that i'm an adult now but still treat me like a child, sometimes :)

ahhh, i always argue with my siblings, especially my little sister, i consider it as a good thing? - communication what. we argue lots, we share our dirty little secrets lots. they always call me as majordomo cause' i nag at them frequently whenever they did not finish up their parts in my ways. well, it's not sound like i'm an annoying person, just that, i care :)

we went through lots of difficulties together and of course it made the relationship between all of us are getting closer and closer that you could not see any gaps between it.

so, my greatest happinesses are from three of you.

The family.  We were a strange little band of characters trudging through life sharing diseases and toothpaste, coveting one another's desserts, hiding shampoo, borrowing money, locking each other out of our rooms, inflicting pain and kissing to heal it in the same instant, loving, laughing, defending, and trying to figure out the common thread that bound us all together.  -Erma Bombeck

photo craving.

a shop at sunway pyramid caught my attention today. it is cute and awesome. i was having a serious thought to bring one of them home but i knew that i could not afford to do it. yes, it's a camera shop, instant camera! they are so cute and pretty. how i wish i could have one of them :)


Fujifilm Instax Mini 7 Instant Camera


Polaroid 600 Camera


Fujifilm Instax Mini 7S Instant Camera



Polaroid 300 Instant Camera


Boots Instant Camera


Fujifilm Instax Mini50s Cheki Instant Camera

so you like barbie ? nahhhhhh.

Barbie Instant Camera

how about hello kitty ? no worriessss :)


what else do you have ? what if lego ?

Polaroid 1000 Lego Instant Camera

well, i, personally love this to the max :)

Fujifilm Instax Mini 25 Instant Camera 

let us capture down every memorable moments of our life and replay it.

different people, different chapters.

sometimes, i do have lots of thoughts on what i'm going to vomit on this page, sometimes, i don't. to be frank, i've used to change my mind like i always change my clothes, cause' i'm a girl, apparently, and yet, sometimes, i would have just sticked to my point no matter how persuasive is your point. sometimes, i would have given up in fixing somethings which they are supposed to be.

i went to smc to meet up my boy right after my progress test cause' he left earlier than me. it didn't take me long to find a seat to sit as i stepped into the medical center. there were lots of people walking in and out and i was just sitting on a wooden chair at starbucks and waiting for my boy to finish his stuff.

as i was waiting, i realized, there were lots of different expressions swept through the entire frame of the others. at that particular jiffy, it was proven, proven that this is life. life is more of like a chapter, it starts, it ends. and the interesting part is what are the contents of chapter you're reading now.

i read mine through my memory. well, my chapters were interesting, very interesting. happiness, glumness, anger, depravation and more were all checked in.

chapter 1
yesterday, i accidentally clicked on a button and it brought me to a page. my heart entangled for a sec. i was thinking, why would i have fallen into such an ungrateful guy, a guy, who left a deep wound on me. i ain't going to say the details of it. i was asking to myself, why he could still living around and there was no guilty found inside his heart, not even a single apology. in the page of his, he wrote about how he cares about other's life, how he cares about the happiness of others. trust me, he has gotten lots of different masks with him and he will never showed you the real mask of his.

yes, i don't know him well, and of course, i don't even want to know him at the first place if god would have given me one more chance to make the decision. some of my friends would have heard of this story and to be honest, i hate the guy so much, from the bottom of my heart. my heart sank was not because of this guy, it was because, my true friends had lost the trust on me. time had washed away the stain of the glumness on the surface of my wound, but nobody would have thought that, a wound is a wound, it will never be cured and return to be the original ones. i told my boy about this matter, he didn't express his own opinions much, instead, a warm hug will do.

one reply could afford to make me feel better.

' you have me now, baby '

chapter 2
life isn't easy and you have to be smart, i mean, real smart to deal with the difficulties which keep on biting you slowly. i never thought of, that, i would have been cheated by swindler, in the entire life of mine. and yes, he got me. all of my savings were gone and it turned out to be a single digit - zero. i couldn't get this out of my mind though it had happened sort of like 6months ago. it can be said that i did learn a lesson from the mistake, however, from the moment that i've been cheated, i have a doubt in the efficiency and effectiveness of the so-called hero with uniform in dark blue. ohhh, maybe they are part of them too. maybe, maybe.

again, there is a shadow in my heart. i'm afraid of picking up the unknown call from that day on. i will just left my phone ringing or just switch it to silent mode as i don't want to get myself into a deep shit again, a real deep shit.

one text could afford to let me move on.

' you don't need to feel sluggish or even clumsy for being cheated, it's the part of our life, you should have felt glad about it cause' you learnt about this mistake at this kind of age, it would be worsen if you face it when you have a family to move on ' 

there are more chapters are coming in, and it's not going to an easy ones.