he actually reads.

well, how am i going to describe my happiness when i knew that he actually reads my blog. though, he's not one of the frequent readers, instead, he reads once in a while. to be honest, i'm not afraid of what i posted in my blog. cause' there is nothing to be ashamed of.

he teased me about one of my posts of mine - a little confession of mine. i didn't know whether is there a sense of jealousy caught him, but, i'm pretty sure that he does actually care. he doesn't need to say anything to ease my doubt about him, a single text will do.

' it's useless for me to keep your people with me since i can't even keep your heart '


i don't really care about others' comments for my blog, sort of like,
' always blog about your boy boy ' ,
' all posts were all about him ' 

the reason is simple, cause' i'm in loveeeeeeeeeeee :D

KL - PENANG

i'm back in penang for my cny. went to visit my grandma and grandpa. they're still the same, not much changes. except, there was a new-faced baby which i never seen before. hell yea, i became aunt again. my cousin's wife just given birth a few months ago and know what, they're only 21years old. and i'm still studying duhhh. 

did you notice that i mentioned about that i'm an aunt of 2 babies ? yes. another baby was actually the sister of  the cousin which i mentioned above. her case was more terrible. she given birth when she was only 15years old. sigh. really coudn't understand what were they thinking about when they were doing stuffs without considering the consequences. 

both of my sisters keep asking me when i'm going to get married. i didn't utter any words just gave them a radiant smile and passed the question to my boy and answer it. what i knew from the bottom of my heart is, plan plan plan. doing without planning and the consequences will be giving thousands of troubles to family members and of course others. 

i'm so hungry right now, very hungry. i need foodddddd nowwww seriousllyyyyyyyy .

can't even think of the title

this is the first time i attempted to put on the cheongsam. apparently it looks long on me. please call me shortie by the way. 

GONG XI FATT CHOI 

it's pretty weird as i completely not in the chinese new year mood. i mean, no more excitement. i used to celebrate my cny in kota kinabalu and i used to complain that it wasn't fun at all since i got no relatives at there. now what ? i'm still complaining that it wasn't that fun to celebrate cny in penang too even though all of my relatives are there. 

well, what i'm aiming for this year is do my best and get the world prize. i ain't going to say it's impossible. i will give it a try and keep trying and trying. cause' to be honest, i don't want to be an ordinary student, instead, extraordinary. 

evil yet lovely.

i had a nightmare last night. it was really real. 

it was about we were in a violence world and all of them were guys except me. he walked too fast and i couldn't catch up. out of the sudden, there was a guy took me away and sort of like 'raped' or 'molested' me ?  i couldn't remember about it. and i didn't know how i got myself out of that place and met my boy up and wept in front of him and told him about the incident. 

he got so upset and went back to find the guy. i stoned at there and watched him fought with the guy. i really could feel the anger swept through his entire frame, i mean, i really can feel it in real. at that moment, i told myself that, he's the man i wanted for my entire life. 

and so i'm going to skip the rest of it and jump to the end cause' i really couldn't remember it. he died in the end. ya, he dieddddd. no tears no weep, only stood at there and kept telling myself that it wasn't real. and, ' AHHHH! ' i woke up from the dream when the clock stroked 6am. such a relieve. 

a boy, who really likes to twiddle me as if i'm his toy.

a boy, who behaves like a child in front of me whenever i try to tease him.

a boy, who likes to bully/tease girls cause' he thinks it's pretty fun. 

a boy, who actually treats me like his precise as if tomorrow will be the doomsday of the world. 

sometimes, he's just so evil yet lovely. and so, i found my man :D 

neh neh neh

chinese new year is around the corner and yet i'm still in an unproductive mode. basically, it can be said that i'm almost having holidays everyday cause' i only have classes on certain days.

i seriously need new clothes for this coming chinese new year. i couldn't get any ideas what kind of fashion is going right now. stripes? nehhhhhhh.

and, and, and, i wanted to dye my hair in red so that 2011 will be a good year for me. heeee :)

wish all of you chinese new year in advance ;)

enjoy

enjoy

enjoy

a bit confession of mine.

peoples are greedy, very greedy. when they had sufficient calves with them, they would love to have another a number of cows as their back-up. i've been communicating with my ex-es recently. and to be honest, i feel ecstatic about it. it's not what you're thinking right now k.

it's a very natural feeling. like, they knew you much better than other friends ? i'm glad that we're still doing a little catch up with each others although we've failed in making a relationship in the past. i, totally couldn't notice the existence of awkward in any conversations that i had with them. 

somehow, on someday, there was a thought swept through my mind. a very greedy thought. 'what if i have both of them'  this thought only last for like, 3 secs ? ya, it's 3 secs. i knew that would be very nasty. that's why i called it's a little confession of mine. 

no one knows me the best except him, and of course my mom. he teaches me about the morality of life, he takes care of me, he protects me just like the relationship between a daddy and a daughter ? AHAHAHHAHAHA. that sounds weirdddd. even though there was a evil thought inside my mind, i just couldn't let him go instead, i take him as my priority :)

it's going to be rude.

i'm an aggressive person, very. i've been putting an afford to change my temper towards people, and seems like i'm doing it pretty well recently. i used to shout at my family and even control what they were trying to do in the past. i know, it sounds mean, very mean. 

i could barely know how's my impression for others apparently. but, i do completely know that, i'm not born to please somebody else who, i personally think, is unimportant for my life. so, what am i trying to say is, get your own life and don't just 'copying', ohhh, rephrase, 'repeating' what others are doing. you have your own styles and your own characteristics. 

yes, i do notice that, i didn't patent or even trademark my masterpieces. it sounds ridiculous for me to say that it's my motto or my idea or even my thought. just give it a go if you think you're not picking somebody else's work and cut it and paste it and modify it and change it another way round and present it as your works. 

BA-HA-HA-HA-HA

AHAHAHHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAH. do you mind to tell me what's the reason i fallen in love with you again ? 

nahhhhhhhhhhhh. it isn't your appearance that caught my attention at the first sight obviously. 

' you don't marry someone who you can live with , but marry someone who you cannot live with ' 

perhaps it's  too early to realize that i can't live without you, but, from the bottom from my heart, it is. 

goodnight. 

goodnight.

goodnight.

easy come. easy go

i believe that, there must be a reason why both of them will be my siblings in my life, always.
three of us, different personalities, different attitudes towards people. we have different ways to solve our issues, and different ways to show our care and even love towards each others.

we, do argue all the times, especially between my little sister and i. i ain't going to tell the details. however, what i'm trying to say is, 3 of us, have been gone through different stages of difficulties. and your issues maybe, perhaps aren't my issues and vice versa. even though we seldom have pillow-talk unlike others, i, still believe that, i can sense or maybe feel that there's someting wrong with my sisters. sometimes, i just couldn't help much. it's not that i'm not willing to help, just that, i couldn't help. i've already done what i'm supposed to do. there's no point to keep myself telling the same thing to you, isn't it ?

' easy come, easy go ' . i always have this thought in my mind and keep reminding me about it. someone came into your life out of the sudden and lighten your life, but please, do remember that, somehow, candle will eventually put out at the end. 

nobody deserves a right to make a girl/boy to end up her/his life because of him/her. the reason is simple. cause' you're not the one who have been gone through the period of pregnancy,  you don't even know how tough and painful it is. and i ain't saying that the one who chose to end up his/her life just because of a girl/boy is making a right decision. i won't make any comments on it as i'm sure you will found out that, it's your mom gave you the opportunity to see the wonderful world and i don't think you could just give yourself up and say goodbye to this world without thinking of your mom.

please do remember that, family will always come to you when you need them. don't forget about their existence as they're the only valuable ones that you've got in your entire life.

so you like to do things sloppily huh ?

do you mind to do things neatly instead of sloppily? i don't know whether are you going to read my blog but who cares.

i dislike to step into other's relationship and make fun of it or bother about it. i mean, it's not my business and why on earth should i go and interrupt? however, this time was different, i couldn't just sit there and pretend like, ' oh, who cares, non of my business '

there is nothing wrong for a girl to try and approach a guy, isn't it ? yes, i admitted that i'm always the one who take the initial step in my relationships, so ? are you going to perceive me as a bitch ? each of us have our own stories, i mean, the past.

here's my story starts.

in 2010, i met a guy in my uni, well, not going to type his name out, i was amazed by his appearance and his height at the first sight apparently. i knew him cause' of my roommate and so we started to chat every night and i changed my bed time just because of wanted to chat with him a bit longer, sounds naive eh? so, it's obviously that, my feelings towards him was increasing as the days passed by.

first time, i dated him out for a movie. and i could feel that he was pretty paniced and shocked. he ended up calling his friends to go along and so did i. we didn't talk much on that day, perhaps both of us were too shy. after i've considered for a period of time, i decided to confess my feelings to him.

well, i didn't get any positive response, instead, a blur answer. i was pretty cool and calm at that particular jiffy. i didn't push him for an exact answer but, from the bottom of my heart, it was sank, very much. i didn't just give up in waiting for his answer but, kept waiting, waiting and waiting.

guess what ? i ended up to put a fullstop in it. reason? simple. girls deserve a man who treats them like tomorrow will be the doomsday of the world but not treats them like a plastic bag. how would you feel if you're the one who keep waiting for the answer and the other half one was actually doing it sloppily or perhaps, he's enjoying the moment that the girl treated him like a prince ? who knows.

i, completely understand that it takes time to know a person better. well, my case wasn't that bad. maybe i did the right decision and that's why i met him, my boy who treats me like a princess.

nevertheless, not every girls will have the same story. hers is different. by just standing outside of her situation, i was mad at the guy, very mad.

if you don't have the feelings towards her, why on earth you kept giving her hopes ?
if you are really mind about the tattoo, do you mind that i give you a shit ?
if you are really care about the past of hers, could you afford to create an eraser and help her to erase it ? could you ?
if you are not sure about the future, could you please just stop thinking about the future and think about the present ?

a guy, like you, doesn't deserve a girl like her, seriously. it isn't fun to make a girl kept waiting for you and you kept putting the salt on her wound. someday, you'll realize, you've let go a gold, a valuable gold in the entire of your life. so, do you still want to do it sloppily in every relationships of yours ? nahhhhh. up to you.

ohhhhhhhh.

ohhhhh, nothing to do.
ohhhhh, i'm too bored.
ohhhhh, nahhhhh, ehhhhhh.
urghhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh.



i always thought.

i always thought that there might be certain people who dislike my personality or even my attitude. for those who don't know me, please read. i could barely talk to someone who i don't even know. my boy keep asking me to be more socialize and try to make friends, however, it proved futile on me.

people say gemini should be the one who's pretty talkative and likes to make friends. i wonder, am i really a gemini ? my boy's horoscope is gemini as well. as i mentioned before, he likes to make friends and likes to talk all the times.

i always thought that there aren't any disadvantages for me to treat those people nice. so i might not as friendly as you thought. i only care about those people who are really close to me and that's why, i don't even give a shit to those strangers. in my state of mind, i only treat certain people nice and kind if they treat me in a good way. i will not bother or even talk to those people who treat me like a plastic bag. i mean, serious, i'm not an angel unlike my eldest sister.

i always thought that once enermy, forever will be enermy. but i was wrong, completely wrong. maybe i'm too sick of the so-called 'outside world '. i remembered once, i told my boy that i would never to be a friend of, named her as 'A'. never says never. cause' it is really scary. now, i'm a friend of A and we will go for lunch together sometimes during break time or just catch up for a while after class. boo, scary. 

it's really hard for me to change my perception to others right now, i mean, really hard. well, perhaps, i should change, nevertheless don't even know whether is this going to work on me.
make love not war.

i'm sorry. i lied.

i'm sorry, i lied. i didn't mean to tell lies. just that, it's good for all of us, now, at this situation. i felt guilty when i spitted out the word 'no' right after you asked me the question. i don't think it's the right time to tell, i mean, not necessary to tell the truth now, really. my bad, my apologies.

we just can't tell things by reading the surface of it, right ? there is always a reason for something to transpire, isn't it ? i couldn't control when it meant to be came, could i ? in fact, i'm not suppose to tell, not suppose to share about it, cause' i knew it's going to cause me problems, i mean, lots of problems.

everyone needs love. sometimes, protection from others? yes, i met mine, and i can't tell or even share about it with my beloved family. that's why i blocked certain people in my lists so that they can't enter into it. please forgive me. sorry.

and of course, i understand their feelings, like frutful about my future. i completely understand. thank you anyway.

impossible eh ?

i really want to be as thin as other hot girls. impossible eh? can somebody teach me how ?

to be honest,  i was a fat girl when i was around 10-15years old, well, i'm still considering myself fat at this moment :)

it's flabby everywhere on my body, especially my thighs, boo, elephant legs. my muscles on my thighs are getting flabbier and no longer muscular. told you right, i was a volleyball player before. i do go for gym sometimes, just that i walk in a fast speed instead of running. running is bad for our knees, especially our ligament between our bones.

oh ya, please call me an insane. i'm pretty, nope, let me rephrase, i'm very desperate and couldn't wait to cut off the lipids on my inner thighs till the level i went to buy something sort of like slimming cream from iro-iro. and i personally don't think it works. urghhhh.

urghhhh. please, help me, instead of giggling at my post :D

i can be pretty and ugly

sometimes, i can be looking good, pretty good. AHHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA. i ain't brag about it, just sharing my personal thinking, bahhh. i love to keep changing my appearance so that people wouldn't get bored with it. nevertheless, i think, i've already reached the peak point, which means, i'm too lazy to care about how others look at me. it's just the appearance, right? :)

good looking

ugly 

so, am i look ugly for you now ? :] 

i want to be tiny :]

i want to be tiny when compared to my boy. he's not fat, but chubby. especially his tummy. boo. scary. i'm pretty short, so, it makes him look taller. AHAHAHHAHAHAHAHAHA.

a boy, who doesn't care to carry me from ground floor up to the 3rd floor when my slipper was broken.
a boy, who doesn't care to carry me up when we're on the way to get to our university so that my jeans wouldn't get wet cause' it's raining.
a boy, who doesn't care to help me to get another drink when i found out it was not the drink i wanted.
a boy, who doesn't care how mean am i and still, stay with me.
a boy, who doesn't care about what he likes, instead cares about what do i like.
a boy, who doesn't care how difficult to get me a thing, but, he still has his own ways to get it for me.

a boy, my big boy, an enormous boy in my heart, and he makes me feel like i'm tiny.
AHAHAHHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHHAHAHAHAHA

Baviphat

Baviphat (korean product) - it's another skincare product i'm using now. i got these as my gifts. girls, try it ;)

dry skin? no worries.



i'm using the apple favourite sleeping mask. thumbs up! it assists to moisturizing your skin when you're sleeping. it's convenience and easy!

widened pore problem ? I have this. 

it helps to tighten widened pore. i  have this problem on my nose since i went up to junior stage at secondary school. so, can try this out on your widened pores too ;)

dark circle problem? nahhh. 

if i'm not wrong, there are 3 types of eye creams are available at Baviphat. i've gotten the one which is for sensitive skin. well, i haven't used it yet as i haven't finished the previous eye cream of mine. why don't you girls go and grab it and tell me how's your result? :)

fruit on my lips :)

so now what ?? BAVIPHAT 

Girls must get it.

this is the first set of my skincare products i got from my boy. i, personally recommend girls must get it :)
i'm pretty busy with my studies recently and i found my skin is very dry, i mean, really dry.
i got the exactly same set as the above except the mask as i already have lots of masks at my place.

after i've been using it for like, a week, i found my skin isn't as dry as before. it really work on my skin. don't get me wrong, i'm not saying that it is going to work on everyone, it depends on the type of skin of yours, of course.

if you're interested, it's available at city mall, kota kinabalu or mid-valley, i think.

A quote of Niu'er himself : The contents in this bottle is far more important than packaging outside of it ( referring to the packaging of the product ), just like how the inner layers of the skin (what we can’t see) is far more important that the outer appearance of it (what we see). 

i think i'm getting younger :D

2008






2009






2010






2011

UNSW in 2009.

i seriously miss my unsw classmates. we mingled very well, that's why i love small class. i ain't saying that big class is bad, just that, i, personally think that big class causes me could barely know who's my ACCA classmates.

 i rarely hang out with my ACCA classmates. unlike in 2009, i loved to ask my friends and go we so-called, 'yumcha' but i ended up rejected their dates. :D we, celebrated new year eve together, went to monkey beach and did a really really really stupid stuff like climbed over the rocks and thought we were on the right way to get to the destination, kept screeching :' we're almost there! ' one word for us - S-T-U-P-I-D

to be honest, as the moment i stepped into the first class, it didn't take me long to have a bad feeling to my classmates. however, i was wrong, i had a whale of time with them, especially the last day of our last examination.

now, everyone has their own destination to reach, different places, different goals. one simple sentence to all of you ' good luck, take care. '